Adam and His Electricity

I went to Equinox on Wednesday. The view of Singapore was splendid,but yet it made me sad.In one single view,a stream of happy memories flooded my mind,leaving me longing for those happier days.I saw Plaza Singapura.Wow what a place.It was where Alison and i frequented when we still dated each other.It was also a popular chill out place in sec school.I saw Cathay.Isabel and I went there for movies.The free cone day with Brandon,Claire and Keat Ling.All the memories of that lane.I saw VCH.Oh man,all the band concerts,JiamJiam's concert last year.So much fun memories.I miss that place.I was so innocent back then.Oh please bring me back to those days.I saw Flyer.I did not sit the flyer,but the F1 pit building was where i did the Human Race volunteering.I saw Clarke Quay.Fond memories with Alison there as well.And way in the distance sat the Marina Barrage.Kite flying with Kit!What a memorable day.That was the last time i truly heard from her and all.We drifted slightly,i can feel it.I see Esplanade.The random photo taking sessions with Zheng Yi,Edwin and Sherman.The nice sombre talk and guitar playing by the bay with Marianne Chan.Gabriel's piano recital.Frequented that place with SPJazz too.Namie,Leonard,what great friends.

 

Just too many memories in one picture.Makes me feel so sad when i think of the state i am in right now.

 

I feel the darkness clouding my view from happy thoughts.

 

Zoo date with Geri was a rather great one i must say.We met Eunice and Sam there too since they were working there.Haha.I saw my polar bears.I have a new fav too-leopard cats!!!We caught the show at the Splash! Amphitheatre too.Saw alot of animals.Geri saw a lot of animals shitting too haha.It's nice spending an entire day with her lah.It's quite rare and all.We mentioned that everyone has someone they can talk about anything to,and Geri is the one i can talk anything to.I really treat her as a best friend still lah.

 

Thanks to this date however,i'm now broke! D:

 

Toodles.

We presented our library competition to some G.O.Hs yesterday at the ADRC.Actually only the top3 presented,but all 6 were displayed around the room.I have to say all 3 groups,WAMB,Archie Monkeys and Votum Seperatum presented really well.It was the 1st time everyone from WAMB turned up to present LOL.I presented about shelves layout as well as furnitures.We had to restructure out presentation layout as we had to use powerpoint and we had one more member in the script.But i have to say all went really well!Great job WAMB!Great job to V.S. too.They really deserved their win. :D

 

Oh the food was damn good!

 

Okokok enough of talking,i shall get back to BP submission! :( Toodles!

 

Bye bye!

 

Rusted-Katatonia

A rush through the rusted veins
Illuminate the face of one
So i have a light
So unaware about the consequence

I heard no warning
About the little compromise
The distorted views you had

Cold white spring
A wordless song I sing
Eye
White cloud
All my thoughts are in doubt

After some self reflection today,i realised how annoying and selfish i can be at times.I really need to change that.If i ever annoyed you,frustrated you,angered you,or even hurt you,i'm really sorry,but i really didn't mean to.

 

Anyway,Swensons lunch with dear Stacie was a pretty good one.What can i say?It's always great to meet up with such a great friend anytime man.After all these years,our friendship just keeps getting stronger.

 

Rest of the day was spent in church.Lucas told me about how great it is to have a friend with no other mutual friends and all,and i totaly agreed,for i have one friend like this too.We also talked about many stuffs lah,but that was something that struck me the most cos it was random and yet accurate.

 

Ah crap,i need to go school tomorrow though it's a no-school Friday.Toodles.

 

 

Not bad aye,the camera.

 

2 months back during the time when i saw Isabel off at the airport,my mom asked me,'You're always seeing your friends off,Angie,Chun Ming,now Isabel.If you go overseas,will anyone actually see you off or not?'I replied;'Aiya sure got one lah,even one friend is good enough to me.'But i seriously don't know anymore.I know the way i set my priorities is different from most,but i really don't know if i'm included in anyone's life anymore.

 

There are of course the precious loving friendships that i will cherish no matter what.You know what?Screw my soliloquy about one way or two way friendships.I don't care if the person does not give or show anything in return.I just want to give and love.

 

Toodles.

 

Alone-The Gathering

Now you see me getting better
I'm right here on display
And I'll make it a bit heavier
By going all the way

Did you find it much easier
To stoop to where I was
With your power and your knowledge
To leave me here

Alone...
I'm all alone

Now's the time for being humble
By holding you down on your knees
I suspect you'll stay there and crumble
Rather so then to be alone

Do you believe your heart?
Trying in all around to find
To find your way back inside

I will be there
For you to care
And you will find
Peace of mind

I was caught in the rain today - twice.The 1st one wasn't that bad.The 2nd one was hedious.

 

The 74 i took was awfully slow to start off with.It wasn't the uncle's fault,there was this massive jam at Dunearn Road anyway.I easily spent an hour plus in the bus.That was also when it started raining so frickin crazy.Well so at Lornie Road,the annoying bus broke down,leaving all the passengers stranded at one of those ulu bus stops over there at nightfall.You know how annoying it is?Very okay.Super annoying.

 

I decided to not take a 74 again and wait for the 855.As usual it took 2 rounds of cows to get home before the bus finally came.It came PACKED TO THE VERY FRONT.Because i was hero and ran towards the bus in the rain,the uncle had no choice but to open the door for me.And i could not use my free ride cos 74 is SBS while 855 is SMRT.WTF!

 

The people around me were annoying,i was wet cos the bus stop was so small,the weather pissed me off,the itty bitty scarey cat girls were screaming everytime a huge lightning streaked across the blackened night sky.It was a perfect recipe for the end of mankind,or the end of my happy optimistic mood.You'd expect the worst song to play at a time like this was A Nightmare To Remember by Dream Theater right?NO.My mp3 chose to play Tristania's ...Postludium.Basically it's one minute of rain in the background with a very intense gregorian chant getting louder and louder til it grips you tight before leaving you with silence.Shit man.Theatre of Tragedy's Storm also played.So ironic.855 also had annoying people.What's up man!

 

Nvm,i'm stressed enough with submission already.Choir tomorrow.I miss my friends man.I miss the girls more.I don't know,most of my close friends are girls and are in the choir.

 

Toodles.

Home-Passion's Grace

Marianne Chan-Vocals
Adam Wesley Aw-Vocals, Guitar

[Music and Lyrics by Adam Aw]
What am I doing here?
Oh how I long to disappear
Tangled webs of same old lies
As a part of me inside dies

I hear your name in my head
As I lie here on my bed
Streams of endless misery
Carry me across the sea

My heart pounds for yours

Stay with me as I weep
For my soul is yours to keep
Please don’t mind my foolishness
Listen to me
I’m in distress

The sky cries for you

Take me home, where I stay
Please don’t let me decay
The smell of roses in your hair
Is what I need for my repair

Crimson skies and autumn leaves
I can’t let go, I can’t believe
I’m longing for something true
So don’t let go, I need you

My home calls for you

 

School's back with a BANG (ouch i'm dead)!

 

1st week was basicaly talks at National Library and school plus workshops and all.Pretty fun at times,boring at times,but there's simple no denying that the food at the Archifest forum was HEAVENLY,well,until day2 lunch that is.Heh.

 

Hmm,some photos.

 

Before i left for F1 Pit Building on Friday night,i was in church with the rest for daily mass.Grace Goh let me read her Cleo magazine and there was an arcticle of how emotions can be contagious and spread easily.Very true.In fact it's the reason why i always try my best to keep my emotions at bay.If only others will be able to see things this way as well.If only i can be better in this area too.

 

Anyway,Human Race!We met on Friday night to stayover before the real deal started at 4am.Baggage management is seriously no joke.Very very busy,especially when they deposit their bags.You've got to be fast,quicl,effecient and stay happy and serve people with a smile. :D I walked a hell lot,placing the bags in their allocated positions and stuff.The race the began and we had a short break before the runners went to collect their bags again.Collection was much easier,for me at least since i knew where the bags were and all.It was no so tiring as depositing bags too.Whew.Fun indeed.

 

School has started and there's a submission coming really soon.I don't want to start school again,but i must adapt quickly.On a site note,i want to thank all my friends for being with me during these weeks.I know i may have been an ass at times and i'm really sorry,but thanks for putting up with me too.A few people i wan to mention are Marianne Chan for making my online nights much more fun-filled!And it's good to know someone who's a little like me too haha.Our secret shall be sealed!Thanks Geri again,your small gestures and stuff really lifts me up.Thanks for trying,i can see and feel it.:) Thanks Chun Ming for Popeye's :D. Just chatting with you made me feel good lah haha.Congrats on being 14th for human race! :D

 

Toodles.

 

Return To You-Visions Of Atlantis

I know not the words to make you stay,
Yet they are engraved on your face.
This secret language, I cannot speak,
Only whisper on the breeze.

My breath, these tears, my cries, all curled up inside.
Haunting apparitions that are hidden to the dark light of day.

Our destiny shall arrive, someday Angel,
I will come to you.
Our fates shall coincide, one day, dear child,
I will come for you.

Cruel means took you far away from here,
Yet your ghost has inspired me.

I shall walk in shadows under the sun,
Awaiting your faithful call.

My breath, these tears, my cries, all caught up inside.
Celestial apparitions that are shaded in the dark light of day.

Our destiny shall arrive, someday Angel,
I will come to you.
Our fates shall coincide, one day, dear child,
I will come for you.

What once was lost is now found deep inside of your soul
Cry out for me and I will return to you.

Our destiny shall arrive, someday Angel,
I will come to you.
Our fates shall coincide, one day, dear child,
I will come for you.

I return to you...

I shall just put everything here cos i'm too lazy to sectionalize my entry today.

 

Last Tuesday was my 1st free day after competition submission on Monday.Went for an acoustic jam with Marianne Chan.I have to say it was rather productive and smooth.We then went to my place area for some good food before going to Esplanade to hang out and stuff.Short and queer day to be honest,but it was fun. :)

 

Wednesday i went out with Gabriel Quek before he left for Taiwan.We went bowling.Our first game be beat me 126 to 113.I won him the 2nd game with a score of 140 to 121.So yes,i have broken my personal best!My previous best was 138 btw.Quite pleased with my game.Played billards and pool after that.It was so long,about 2-3 hours?It was incedibly insane.Travelled all the way (got lost halfway too) to Parklane for some LAN before heading home tired and hungry.Once again,a pretty queer but fun day.

 

Thursday was competition presentation.We got 3rd!Not too bad lah,don't quite like the prize though.Bleargh.Hung out in school with Brenda before heading for Udder's.Quick ice cream before we parted ways.Dinnered with Joshua!Pretty fun too and all.Wasn't as queer a day but certainly fun as well.

 

Friday i stayed at home. :D

 

Yesterday/Saturday,i went to Bishan library to browse stuffs,but guess what?HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!!!So i went church early.Someone i thought was close to me gave me a really distant feel,but whatever.Choir was okay,i was awfully pitchy.Could not stand it myself.Bleargh.Gave Crystal her birthday present and i hope she likes it.Ordered all the way from Europe haha.Night prac was okay.Cheeky Chocolates after that wasn't too bad. :) I walked Geri to Nemesu after that and we parted ways,not before making my day. :)

 

 

 

Today was pretty boring.Rawr.

 

Toodles.

 

---

Today has been a rather smooth day.Could have done more in school if only they did not shut down the air con unit so early and bake me in the library room full of (nice smelling) UHU glue.There's still quite a bit to be done and tomorrow is submission already,but i believe we can do it!Affirmative!

 

I'm trying to get my life mentally and emotionally back on track.Some of you know i've been doing stupid things during this period of time.As Brenda says,Adam=IMPULSE!So yea,it's not easy,but i'll try.

 

Thanks everyone who played a part in my life this year so far.

 

Speaking of impulse,i feel like meeting up and catching up with my ex.I don't know if it's a good idea,but after all,i resolved to revive friendships.I very highly doubt Alison comes here any longer,but she DID play quite a fair role in my life,and i feel we should just meet up and catch up with each other's life. :)

 

Marjolein Kooijman (The Gathering)

FINALLY A GOOD FEMALE BASSIST!!!! :DDD

 

Toodles.

Gerard Bong : Don't overwork yourself okay.

 

Me: Heh,nah i won't,don't worry.Goodnight. :)

 

Sorry,i lied.

 

A casual visit to jazz band today just made me realize how much my bass playing has regressed.I've fallen behind so much.I feel so lousy and incapable in bass playing now.I guess my mood affected my playing as well.I've lost half of myself this year,which is immense love for music.

 

Today has been a rather rollercoaster day.Lots of ups and downs.

 

Bus ride with Namie. :) (Ba Chang!)

Talk with Geri :) (hugzzzz)

 

Waking up so frickin early for human race briefing and ending up being drenched in the rain

Subway diner

 

Tomorrow will be a good day.I promise i will try.

 

Toodles.

Why am i so sad?

 

Why do u think i'm so sad?

 

My heart feels so heavy.Sigh.Very disappointed with myself.Stupid competition wasted my entire holidays.Ah,regret regret regret.Imagine all the precious days that were wasted being used for something much better,more productive,more joyful.Isn't there anyone who watches out for me?

 

I've let some friendships go back to normal,i've released the closeness.I want it to be close,but it'll hurt me.It hurts too,to loosen the friendship.Makes me want to tear at times.Maybe i'm just not meant to have any close friends,or anyone to remember me.It has been a roller coaster these months,but honestly at the end of it all,i still don't feel warmth,nor love.I'm still stuck at square one.Yes i'm still depressed.But it's hard to hide it all the time.

 

It has gone to the point where everyone,yes everyone,annoys me.

 

God,where are you?

 

Toodles.

 

A Monday Night In March-Damian Wilson

We used to talk when we were younger
But I don't see you these days
And if we'd sleep we'd never slumber
The world was new with its ways

 You were such a girl
You'd smile so sweetly and you'd say
We'll grow old and we'll be lovers
But I don't see you these days

Well, we can laugh cos we are wiser
It was different those days
The things we'd do to be together
We had the craziest ways

You were just so kind
You'd hold me close and I'd say
Don't leave me when I'm older
But I don't see you these days

And as we talk we move much closer
You just smile for you know
All this while as we've grown older
We haven't changed but we've shown…

Part of our life
That means much more than we could ask
And if we'd ever stayed together
I wonder how it would last

And if we'd ever stayed together
I wonder how it would last

It pains me to see how things are currently unfolding.It pains me even more than i can't do anything about it.It kills me to know that everyone is so blind about it.

 

I'm alone.Alone in school.I'm not sure if this library thing is fun anymore,but i've got no choice but to complete my task.

 

I feel so negative.I know things will never turn out my way but yet i carry on believing that it will actually happen.I care too much,no correction,i STILL care too much.I feel so alienated from the world.I feel so distracted and lost.I feel i don't belong anyway.I feel so unimportant.

 

I feel like i'm dying.

 

I feel that my life will just end abruptly and i will not see it coming.Is it a sin to live day by day and refuse to see the big picture when ultimately i won't be able to see the end product?

 

Okay,so maybe i do fear death a little after all,cos i know i will go to hell and that's where i do not want to be.

 

Repent.

Black Heart.

Redemption?

 

Toodles.

 

Why haven't you replied my email?I know that you're fine and all,but i want to hear from you.You know how much you mean to me.

 

Why do i get the feeling you're keeping a distance from me?I did not do anything at all.Talk to me,will you?

 

Ok you know what,i shall stop blogging like this.If i don't like people flaming me on their blogs,then by doing this,i'm just being very hypocritical.I shall channel all my resentment else where.

 

I shall not be like my old self ever again.I must try,no matter what,for the sake of friendships,no1 or no1000,it's the same.

 

Urgh,i'm pissed,but no one cares of course.

 

Toodles.

And Yellowcard's October Nights randomly plays in my head.

 

I thought i had done us a favour by just breaking the silence and talking to you.But no,i feel worse.You know what,i should just be numb to it all.I should never have gotten closer to you.And the only way to ease this is just for me to back off alright.I thought you were my Saviour.I can't believe i spent so many frickin months stressing over this when it doesn't even affect you a single bit.

 

I know i can't end our friendship totally,i can't bear to.No matter how much i don't want to care,i will still care a little.So i'm just gonna,just gonna stop all of this shit and leave you be.You won't even bother either.I spent so much time subconciously worrying for nothing.

 

Oh well,i hate to have friendships balance on a thin line,but this is too much.

 

Anyway,my demo is out.Been giving them out here and there,hope people like it.Once again thanks to all those who lent their vocals,especially people like Crystal,Matthew and Namie who took some time off their really busy schedule.Appreciated it.Stacie too,really appreciated it.Thanks guys! :) I owe all of you one.I wonder what happens if i get a gig.I probably need a female vocals to cover all my female lines heh.So interesting if that happens.

 

 

Toodles.

I just talked to Geri on the phone for 2 hours and i'm not sure if i am feeling any better.No matter what i said,nothing will ever change anyway.I'm just too selfish.I caused my own downfal and all.I really feel like giving up.

 

Kit pissed me off today.Pissed me off real bad.

 

And Geri,i really really really can't let go.

 

Yes,time is a relavent thing.And i'm not talking about a minute,i'm talking about years.Like what,3-4 years?I don't know anymore.Stupid brain of mine.

 

Toodles.

Yeap,she's my new female obsession for now.Heh.Her voice is damn good lah.It's not those angel from the sky kind,it's like a male version of Jorn Lande.She's a vocal coach too,i sooo need her to teach me!I mean,she even has her number on her MySpace,Vibeke doesn't.

 

She's in 2 bands, Virus IV and Beautiful Sin.I don't quite like the music of Virus IV for some bits despite her amazing voice.I prefer Beautiful Sin,which is the brainchild of Uli Kursch.May be buying their album.Quite nice.

 

 

Oh and for a little treat, here are some of her photos from the Ayreon 01011001 launch party! :D

 

Lori Linstruth!!!!

More Magali Luyten.

Magali with Floor Jansen of After Forever.

With Lori Linstruth!

With Hansi Kürsch of Blind Guardian!!!!!!! :D

With Liselotte Hegt of DIAL and Cirra Nihva

With Wudstik.

With Marjan Welman of Eliser.Another person with a great voice.

HANSI!!!!!!!

 

It's weird to be blogging about all this,cos it's like Magali's blog but i'm not her.Haha.

 

Here's Ride The Comet.Magali sings in the chorus with Floor.Note Floor's amazing vocal lines during the verses too.

 

Recording sessions for Passion's Grace are OVER!Met up with Namie today to complete the final vocal takes and we're all done.I'm all done rather,gonna print the demo labels soon and will spread them out.It's crazy how a small idea of mine can become something of this level man.And honestly,even if my demo doesn't reach a music scout,i'm still happy i did this.It was really worthwhile and fun to do.And who knows?I'll also be able to say that i produced a cd too.

 

Toodles.

2009 has been really really cruel to me.

 

In all honesty,i just wish i were dead.Living is so painful.

 

The one whom i love never cares.

The one whom i need is never there.

 

I just feel so miserable after all this.Library competition is just making feel much more stressed and worse,if there's still a worse.

 

And you,if only you could just take a break from all your studying a little,and just talk to me a little.

 

Toodles.

Just showing you the nonsense we did yesterday haha.

 

Shaun>Geri>Darrall>Kit>Me>Ben Sew

 

Darrall>Kit>Me>Ben Sew>Shaun>Geri

 

Ben Sew>Shaun>Geri>Darrall>Kit>Me

 

Geri>Darrall>Kit>Me>Ben Sew>Shaun

 

Me>Ben Sew>Shaun>Geri>Darrall>Kit

 

Kit>Me>Ben Sew>Shaun>Geri>Darrall

 

Woohoo.Toodles.

 

Waking Hour-The Gathering

The eyes are made to see
They see the path of our lives

The heart is there to feel
It feels the energy of our time

I can see it
I can feel it

This is my waking hour
This is my place
I can hear it
I feel the power in my heart
And it's my moment
It is right there
And it's staring me in the face

Disguise and make-believe
I see the end of all demise
The only way to heal
Is in the honesty of your eyes

I can see it
I can feel it

This is my waking hour
This is my place
I can hear it
I feel the power in my Heart
And its my moment
It is right there
Staring me in the face

The fight is done
And who are we
To judge what will become
All the iron armour is laid down away
Followed by the heroes
Who belong on rested earth
We pray,
We feel the rescue coming near
Within the walking soul to hear
We sense the calm all wrapped in fear
And all the while we heed
The senses way too vast to see
We beg of you to not let go
Our names will provide us with a soul

I can feel it

Falling down
Start again
Life can bring you down
The monumental truth
Of elegance in you
Falling for
A part of who you are
And makes you shine inside

Yesterday was Nicole Siew's sister's wedding.It was something which was planned way way way in advance.Even we practiced it months before.Well,everything went very smoothly.Our singing was good,mass was good,reception was good.Everything was really well planned.Even the duet between Stacie and I went very smoothly.Anyway,everything,all the efforts and months and months of preperation just went by in a single day.You might think it's stupid,but i feel it was all worth it.

 

Swensons with Geri today.I think we talked even deeper,shared even more.It was a dinner we(I rather) needed and it was a good one.I can't say much lah,abit too personal for public.But yea,we were studying/doing work in church before that with the KNN bunch,Michael and it was funny at the end.Will upload photos of them once they are on Facebook.

 

Cling to me through the night.

 

Toodles.

 

Equilibrium-Tristania

This is the slowest dance
The dance of a thousand years
The dance of the frozen statues
Clinging together in tears

This is the darkest fight
The fight of a thousand years
The pounding of blood
Through our veins
In our veins
In our eyes
The circles of fear

I cling to you
So cold, so bright
Cling to me through the night

In our veins
Through our veins
The circles of fear
I cling to you
Cling to you
So cold, so bright

Motionless faces
Park of the wasted
In the pale gloom
I hang on to you
In the pale gloom
I am safe and cool

I swim in you
In your dark rivers
Dive in your mind
Search for your monsters
Search for resistance
Sink into the mud
Dance in the halls of insanity
Yet madness is
Your highest deed
Your vanity

Mistress - you made me
Mistress - you saved me
In your cold hands
I am just a tool

Mistress - you made me
Mistress - you saved me
In your cold hands
I am safe and cool

I swim in you
In your dark rivers
Dive in your mind
Search for your monsters
Search for resistance
Sink into the mud
Dance in the halls of insanity
Yet madness is
Your highest deed
Your vanity

Something i found off Cheryl's blog.I was highly interested in it. :D

 

I bolded the 2 lines that struck me the most.

---

 

I played L4D with Zheng Yi ytd.Have not played it for eons,my skills went downhill haha.I'm so outated,i didn't know there are versus modes for all maps already.So fun.My smoker skills damn lousy man,quite annoying haha.Should play more to hone my skills again,after all it's hols now!

 

Alrights i'm going to Queensway later.Toodles.